Summer of a Lifetime

Did you ever think your totally hot girl friend you met online was a 400 lb hairy dude from Alabama? Well you know where I am going with this one! Thank the good lord he spared me this humiliation. But did you know that half of women you meet online are actually guys! Say’s so per The Village Voice an online publication who investigated several online virtual worlds

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“Hi, I’m Anna. I love sex. You should come play with my sweet bagina.” If you ever explored adult oriented sites then you probably received a few or these type of messages. So before I go on  here are a few tips that will help you identify male from female without having to voice or video chat.

  1. Watch the grammar they use women pay way more attention to proper grammar and spelling then men.
  2. Look for feminine hiccups, like smiley faces and “lol”s. Men tend to not use these as often as their female counterpart.
  3. If online sex is going on just like real life men what instant gratification and women like to take their time. Foreplay is more a woman’s thing then men she requires her fire to heat up while men burn fast and then go to sleep.

May 2012 a month where I lost so much, but was the beginning of something new that I didn’t quite know yet. My girl friend of 3 years died in a car accident. I was planning to ask her to marry me before the accident, but she passed away before I got around to it. I spent the next several months drinking too much and the eventual happened. I was in a single car accident where I bruised my spine and broke my jaw and shattered 8 teeth.

While I was healing at my folks I decided to hang out in a virtual world for adults. I remember like it was yesterday logging in the first time and seeing boooooobies!! You have to understand my online experience prior to this was getting lake conditions for fishing and reading the articles on porn hub (yes they have articles).

After hanging out in world a few weeks I attended one of the site sponsored event parties. Basically a bunch of people go into a dance area and chat with each other while event volunteers play games like trivia etc… for online currency. That is where I met Manda! Let’s dive into Manda a bit shall we. 5 foot tall 100lbs of pure blonde, glittery, pink heaven! OMG to say the least I was smitten. She has this ability to draw you in with only words in a box. You need to understand everyone in the site types in a small box and hits send that’s how we communicate. But her’s were different her’s were like a great BMW commercial that just stands out from the rest. This sexy sleek car smoothly driving down the dark road. That was Manda for sure sexy, sweet, nawty and fun fun fun!pink

I’m a decent looking guy in real life I figured I’d walk right over to her and say “hey sweety I saw you from across the room and figured i’d give you that once in lifetime experience” she says “don’t even bother me shit for brains” not exactly the response I was looking for but that’s OK I love a challenge and let me tell you now the next couple of months was pure hell. Never in my life has a girl ever told me to bugger off more then Manda.

I took a slightly different approach next I decided to show her how big my brain is! So I private messaged her and said ” did you know blonde women who spend a lot of time online have a much lower IQ then other women”. I know what your thinking and yes it didn’t go well once again she was offended by comments. So I said to myself if you can’t beat them join them and now your looking at the newest member of the Events Team Michael!avatars

Please stay tuned for next weeks post and  you will find out what happens next in Manda & Me.

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